The two-year-old has really cranked it up a notch lately with the drama and meltdowns. It's as expected, but extremely exhausting. There's not too much I can do to defuse the situation sometimes, but I try all the things the books and articles say. I try to soothe her, I try to give her love, I try to hold her, I try to give her some space, and I try to distract. It works ok. It's still very unpleasant.
One thing I've noticed myself doing is something that my bossy inner self has been looking forward to all my life, I think. I am perfecting The Look. You know the one I mean. The silent stare, the one with the eyebrows arched and the mouth in a straight line. This is the look that says, "I'm dead serious. Don't mess with me." It works pretty good on co-workers and the husband, and it will work on her too. Oh yes, it will.
I'm also working on The Tone. This is the tone that no matter that the words are, says, "I'm not taking your shit. Get yourself straight. Now." This one is especially exciting for me. I don't know why.
I've accompanied The Tone with this phrase, and I'm especially proud of it: "I don't care how loud you yell, you're still not (grabbing the scissors, running into the street with no pants on, getting whipped cream for lunch, watching another TV show, etc.)." This one seems very effective. It's not mean, it's matter of fact. It shows her where the line is, and, as my therapist would say, invites her not to cross it.
Mama is boss, and not simply because she's bossy. Mama wants you to stay alive for a very long time, and since she's kept herself alive for such a damn long time, she considers herself an expert on such matters. Someday you will know this, Little One, and you will be glad Mama has such amazing skills.
I am totally going to need these skills, and many more, when she becomes a teenager. I can feel it.
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