My job involves travel for up to 2 weeks at a time. When I returned to work last year and I was still nursing, it just wasn't an option for me to be away from my baby that long. I negotiated with a very reluctant Jeff to have them travel with me. Both times last year he said he'd never do it again.
This year, even though I'm no longer nursing, I still didn't think I could bear being away from her for 10 days. Another long negotiation ensued, and the compromise was that they would come with me for half of the time. My argument was that he didn't want to/couldn't handle being alone with her at home the whole time, I didn't want her staying with our parents overnight (for a few reasons), and that it would be better for her to be with her Mama. Even though I was working long hours each day, I would still be able to see her and cuddle with her, which I thought would count for something.
Let me just say that traveling with an almost-two-year-old is challenging. I was going to say a pain in the ass, but she really was pretty well-behaved. It is doable with two people. However, the minute we got on the plane, I started to wonder if this was the right thing to do. Somehow between the time I hatched the plan and the time we left, I had changed my internal tune a little bit.
Was I really doing this for her sake, or was I just thinking of my own emotional attachment? She seems to be fine spending time with her daddy wherever she is. I think she would miss me if I was gone so long, but she probably wouldn't crumble, or be permanently scarred by it. She's getting older, and she's socialized, and she will be fine, really.
It's not really fair to her, or my job, to have me distracted all the time. And it's not fair to my sweet husband, who agreed to spend 24 hours a day in a hotel room or in a hot humid park with the girl. So, another mother guilt lesson learned. I guess you just don't know the right thing to do sometimes, until the wrong thing is already underway.
