Today was a bad day. A very bad day. My job is really sucking right now. My confidence is being broken down, second-guessed and undermined. The old boys' club is alive and well, and it's such bullshit.
I am cloudy minded, off my game, and unusually emotional. I am wondering what I am worth and what all this stress is worth. I am wondering how I can make this situation better, or if I can. Maybe I just have to suck it up and detach. I'm not a very good detacher, because doing good work means a lot to me. Maybe it should mean a little less. Maybe I should phone it in, to save my sanity. People do it all the time. I always thought I was better than that, and thus more valuable than that, but maybe I am wrong.
I don't know what to do, but maybe tomorrow will bring clarity. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe there will be some solution. Maybe I should follow my own advice, and just believe that it will all come out in the wash. It will, right?
I think that maybe I've just overstayed my welcome on this project, and maybe on this job. I need to keep my eyes open for what's next.
No comments:
Post a Comment