Things To Do At 3am

1. Wake up and cry
2. Demand Mama
3. Once in bed with Mama, demand cuddling (spooning, really)
4. Pretend to go back to sleep, just long enough for parents to relax
5. Ask for milk. Appeal to their guilt that you are hungry
6. Be quiet but kick and push every once on a while.
7. Start talking about your pillow.
8. When told to be quiet, demand to get up
9. When denied, demand to go read books in your crib. They will comply, thinking this will get them some sleep. Silly fools.
10. Once in crib, read at top volume for about 45 minutes. Even with earplugs, they will hear you.
11. Begin to cry.
12. Cry until they come to release you.
13. Do not let up
14. Demand to get up and go outside.
15. When denied, ask for a diaper change.
16. They will attempt to get you back to sleep, even though there is only an hour until wake up time.
17. Pretend to comply, repeat step 4 for 45 minutes.
18. Start pulling Mommy's hair and giggling.
19. Success! Out of bed! Time to play!
20. Chatter at top volume, despite being shushed so Daddy can sleep.
21. Read books as loud as possible.
22. Remove every toy in box, one by one, addressing them all by name and throwing them over the couch.
23. Pay particular attention to the noisy toys. Push every button.
24. Ignore shushing.
25. Demand any random food you can think of. 26. Keep Mama hopping! Don't let her get lazy!
27. Success! Four hours will pass in no time. Mama will get ready for work in slow motion. Try not to giggle.
28. When Daddy gets up, start over with the antics, but also demand TV.
29. Enjoy several hours of TV while Daddy struggles to keep one eye open, but be sure to punctuate with random demands.
30. Refuse to nap.
31. Stick close to Daddy all day. He needs you to keep an eye on him.
32. Melt down often.
33. Be as darling as possible when your Mom comes home from work; appeal to her guilt of being gone all day. Give her lots of hugs and kisses and try not to stare at the horrible dark circles under her eyes!
34. These are the best days of your parents lives! Make it count!