Softer

My husband wishes I wouldn't yell at him in the morning. He really hates it and he gets really snippy with me.

In reality, I don't wake up mad at my husband. I wake up with the harsh reality of all the things that are in front of me each day, and what it will take to get them all done. The first five or so times I ask him to get up, I'm actually quite impartial. Each time after that, my voice does get louder, yes. The man sleeps like the dead, so if you don't get to bullhorn level, he will easily sleep on all day.

It's true that each time I have to ask him to wake up, I also get more irritated. I'm sorry, but I do. The morning happens pretty much the same way every day, and it has for years now. I don't know why it's a surprise to him. I don't know why he's not a little more proactive about the situation. If I stopped asking him to wake up and help to get A ready so I can get ready to go to work, I'm sure he wouldn't mind. But that is never going to happen. We are in this together and I'm holding him to it.

I'm sure he wishes he woke up every day with his wife whispering sweet nothings in his ear, after sleeping for as long as he needs to. I'm sure he wishes I was a little softer and more accommodating, and never raised my voice. That would be nice. Who wouldn't want that in a wife?

Honestly, my life, it's stressful most of the time. It would be less stressful if he carried more of the work burden so that I could carry less, worry less, and scramble less, and thus focus more on finessing my domestic approach. I would like that too, but I can't hang my hat on it. So our mornings are going to be chop-chop. I am going to share the chop-chop with my husband so that I don't fall down dead from the weight of it all.

I promise to try and channel a little more sweetness and a little less warrior taskmaster. I promise to keep my tone in check if he promises not to resent me for the intrusion on his slumber.


PS. In an effort to channel some sweetness, I woke him up this morning with an offer of coffee. He appreciated it so much, that he brought me a grapefruit for breakfast during my way-too-early conference call. You can teach old dogs new tricks, I guess.