The Great Reward

I get disillusioned being an adult sometimes. Work is really stressful right now, and it's summer, and I'd just rather be outside playing with my girl. Or just sitting in a sunny spot thinking poetic thoughts. Or reading a book. When I have so many demands on me every waking moment, I'd just rather be doing anything other than what I'm doing.

I'm reminded that life is short, and that right now all my energy is going toward pushing a giant boulder up a hill, only to have it roll back over me when I get to the top. Why spend my energy this way? Oh, right, because I don't have a choice. To live in a house and drive a car and feed my baby and wear clothes, I have to work.

I do have a choice about how I choose to frame it, though. I can see it as a total drag, and that my life is slipping away into drudgery, or I can see it as time invested for a better future. But what is that "better future"? What does that look like? Will I have to work this hard for the rest of my life? What is life after work? Where is my Great Reward?

I think we are fooling ourselves if we think that we need to spend our entire lives working, working, working to get to some mysterious period of bliss later. Old age, as far as I have observed, is no bliss. Yeah, you don't have to go to work every day maybe, but that's because chances are that you aren't able to. Your mind and body breaks down soon enough as far as I can tell.

So what a bummer, right? I might as well just go eat some worms, right? No, that's not what I'm saying! I suspect something far more awesome and positive.

I think that my Great Reward is in the moment itself, no matter what I'm doing. Work can be stressful and ridiculous, yes, and it takes a lot out of me, yes. But, because of work, I am living comfortably. Because of work, I met my dear man and we had this amazing human together. I have also met some of my favorite and most supportive friends at work and they make my life very rich and entertaining. I am also never, ever bored at work and I learn something new every day. No lie.

Every moment I'm alive is my great fortune. I can cash in on it right now if I want to. I don't have to wait to enjoy myself. I can do that now, even amongst the stress and drudgery. I will just refuse to see it as such, and automatically, things are all better. You can call it denial if you want to, but a little mind magic goes a long way.