Dear Job Letter

Dear Job,
Our relationship has changed. I wouldn't say that I don't love you anymore, but if I'm honest I will admit that I don't like you quite as much as I used to. Since my change in perspective, I realize that I need you and I kind of resent that. I don't like to be dependent. I like to believe in the illusion that I'm free to do whatever I want, and I no longer have that luxury. I feel trapped.

All this is not your fault, and not even any of your concern. I know the terms of our deal. You pay me and I work. You don't owe me anything other than that. The personal satisfaction is mine to find. You don't have to understand that the rest of my life is more difficult now. You don't have to be flexible with me in any way. I don't expect special treatment because I have a family.

I still want the most creative, cutting edge, high-profile, resume-building projects that I used to get. I want to be a star and be recognized for my brilliance. I want to be promoted and advance in my career. It bums me out that I am out of the running in many ways because of my newfound perceived (and real) limitations. I want to be the one to dictate what I can and cannot do, and I want control of how I'm being considered. But I need to give this up and just accept where I am right now.

I don't want to work the long hours that I used to. I don't want to travel. I don't want more responsibility and more things to wake up worrying about. I am giving about all I've got to give, and I think we all know that. This is a way more brutal "transition" than I thought it would be. I have to remind myself that I just need to suck it up and do my work. I'm happy to have a job, and I'm happy to have this job. I just have to work twice as hard to get the same results now and it makes me weary.

I want you to know that you are still a priority, you are just more of a means-to-an-end type of priority than you used to be. It's inevitable. I don't think we need to go to counseling or anything. I think we can work this out.

Sincerely,
me